feeling a little bit emo. i don't really wanna whine about it, but i'm really going through a difficult phase. i'm not fighting, i'm only struggling to keep alive.

over the past 22 years, i've not had a careful selection of friends, and i thought the past 2 years in army i've learnt to make wiser choices. however, i came to know about something very disturbing and i feel very hurt because of it. i don't know why, although it's just a joke.. i suppose there are some jokes i can't take really well and one of it is concerning my future.

it's sad that the brightest star is dimming out, i have the best results, but i'm on the verge of getting axed. i only have 5 weak flights, and 3 of them came from my 3 attempts on tests. what's happening?

i felt really touched cuz coach called, and it was nothing particular, just wanted to know how am i doing at the moment. i feel that i've really let him down because he cares so much about us up to the stage that even in his holidays, i've caused him to worry. he's really like my dad in france.

many things are like chewing gum. fresh and nice at the start, and after some time, tasteless and tiring. yet, after chewing for so long, u dont know what you'll do without it.

a nice weekend at costa's place.

5 bottles of rose, 2 red wines, 1 champagne, bbq for dinner, lunch, dinner, nua-ing in the hammock. really relaxing.

i almost got into an accident while on the way there, luckily i braked hard and fast. and i promise i will never drive at 160km/h with evening traffic even though it's smooth.

few more days to singapore, and it's time to do all the packing and domestics. i'm so excited i can't wait.

just something to think about, do u still recognize the person u were, maybe 5-10 years ago?

haha, by identifying the targets 37seconds before overhead is not good enough. dope said, "u'll have to fire from more than 10 kilometres, if u strike the wrong target, innocent people will die, that's the price u'll pay for missing your target."

interesting lesson.


another simulator tomorrow, god dammit i am so far from ready.

haha, after my holidays the timing will be tight! i almost have to be flying or doing a simulator almost everyday in order to be at the next airbase before 6th september. god bless me with good weather and good health!

a typical sunday that i'm working..

maps maps and more maps.





i think my flight will be good tmr, a pity i couldnt go for costa's bbq at his place this afternoon cuz i'm stuck with work, we'll go next saturday instead. which means i need to find some free time to pack my luggage for sg! lol. clearly i've brought too much nonsense over here.

does missing dinner make u have nightmares?

lol. i dreamt that i got into a fight and killed somebody, and i became a fugitive after that. and my parents ended up having to pay 1.5M. haha that sucks.

did a simulator yesterday, i dont know why i got an 11, when i think i deserved a pass. i gotta admit, the preparation was not the best, but the objective of the mission was achieved, so wad's wrong? why did i just fail it? perhaps it was to make me work harder for my next simu, but at the moment i'm more concerned about the the flights.

i planned to go down to marseille today to help my friends buy some stuffs, but i think i'll probably go down to plan de campagne instead, to buy my air con fan if they is, and also to eat some kfc. LOL.

what i'm really craving for is chicken rice though..

i know i'm a little slow, and perhaps this song has already been out a long time ago, but yesterday was the first time i listened to it and i really liked it..

lady antebellum - need you now

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

woah woaaah.

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

I just need you now (wait)

Ooo, baby, I need you now

haha, i'm elated!

after 3 hours of countless attempts to get the air tickets, i managed to get it!

so, 29th july at around 1700, i will be perspiring at changi again! i think i'll suffer cuz of the humidity, but who cares when there's so many things to be done? =D

will leave singapore on 15th august, which gives me around 18 days in sg. Awesome.

ahh, kaeli's going back to colorado tomorrow, it was funny when she sat beside me during lunch and the rest of them had the "ahhhhh yapy!" reaction.

tell me, how does one see the wrong needle? one is yellow and fat, one is green and thin. lol

i was supposed to do a DME arc at 15 miles with the yellow needle, and halfway through the arc, i got distracted by other things, and i ended up using the green needle, and i've never seen a more beautiful arc than the one i made today. LOL. perfect.

simulators can be tough. u dont see outside, u dont feel anything. and i almost forgot to lower landing gears and flaps. luckily i checked! lol.

i feel like i've been cheating some pay and allowance. i'm paid to fly, yet i havent been flying for 2-3 weeks already.

does someone need me to explain why i hate preparing for simulators?

let's see, quick update. the party was awesome on friday night, where all the officers and trainees and public were all together. lol. i've learnt a lesson, never drink 8 bottles of champagne if u don't want the next day to feel terrible.

well, i expect to be flying this week. and i'm not sure about the weather tomorrow, but if i fly, i'm sure it'll be good.

i just saw this old picture. lol. nice. i miss them. haha, and fuck, i still dont have my riding licence? LOL!

there's gonna be a big party on friday night. can't wait for it, i'm really excited haha!